SURPRISE!

What the heck, I think I better post. To bad that it took several days of a bad mood to remind me that this blog is the best outlet I know to let all those weird thoughts and feelings out and clear the air.

*Feel like a rotten friend
*Feel like a rotten teacher
*Could be a MUCH better mom


Yep, that's about it. Can't seem to get ahead, can't seem to keep afloat. Just when I try to keep things moving, someone comes along and rips the rug out from underneath me. For example, I have worked for several days at work until almost 5:00. Papers graded, lesson plans made, calls to parents, etc. Then when I get to work I get an email from a colleague that I/we should sent out midterms. No biggie, except that midterms were even on my 'radar, or to-do list.' More emails continue to come in reminding me of various things that I've forgotten. This becomes a constant reminder that I don't really have my act together. "How did I forget all these important tasks?"

National Honor Society

Big B will inducted into the National Honor Society on Monday. I'll post pictures that night too. Likewise, Bailey will inducted in the National Honor Society too. At Central the inductees have to choose a teacher that they honor as someone that has influenced their life.
Sniff, Sniff, Bailey choose me! She made sure that it it was OK to choose me instead of some other teacher that she had in the classroom.

Prom----Again!

Brandon attended Central prom this evening. He went with the most precious young lady, Bailey. Yep, the same Bailey that I took care of all those years ago when I stayed at home with the kids. Bailey hadn't planned to go, but last week the families were out for dinner and Brandon suggested that she go anyway. Brandon was surprised that we would pay for the tux rental again. They look incredible. I know that they will have a great time. Brandon knows a ton of people over at Central.

Aren't they wearing East colors????

I cried when we left Bailey's house. They look so grown up. It seems like it was yesterday that they both had a terrible case of chicken pox, or they were standing on the table pretending to be in the church choir.

The Big 17!

This is a picture of all my guys. My brother Keith thought he would be funny and wear his construction gear into the house and wear it throughout the duration of the party. That reflection tape really works!

Left to Right: Collin, Todd, Brandon, Keith, Neal, Dad, Ty.

Highlights

During Spring Break I gave Collin a hair cut. While I was cutting we thought that a mow hawk would be cool. What do you think? We only kept the new 'doo' for the week and then it was back to normal when school starts. We attended a rockin' worship show in Denver, and we had a great time sportin' his new doo.

Brandon attended his first Prom. He had a great time. His date is a friend of the family, but we didn't set them up. He and this young lady started hanging out when they went to Hawaii with the music department.

Big B turns 17 today. Sniff, sniff. He is so handsome and so big. I KNOW that people warn you how fast time flies, but now I'm hanging on wishing he was little again.

Ahhh!

There is NEVER a time that I am alone. I am constantly with my own kids, someone elses kids or surrounded bythe hussle and bussle of life. I suppose that you could count the drive back and forth from school 'alone time.' But it seems that I never get time to just sit, relax and relish the quiet solitude of silence...Can you hear it? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I'm alone with nothing to do. Ahhh--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Well, that's about all the time a mom usually gets to sit still and enjoy the peace, so I best get going.

My friend

This is my crazy friend's YouTube link. He shot this video in the Carey Jr. High bathroom because the acoustics were good. The video with the jackhammer was when Big T remodeled their basement.

http://www.youtube.com/user/maestrohammer

Good mom/ Bad mom?

I have to confess that this is not the first time I've done this. In fact, my children have been bugging me for almost a year to be a bad mom.

There was no school for my school district today. Of course, Cheyenne schools aren't going to close, but they aren't sending a bus out to my house to pick up the kids. The wind and snow at my house at 7:00am was a ground blizzard. Soooo, the kids got to stay home with me. But, the guilt really set in when Big T called to tell me the roads were fine and driving into to town was fine as well.

I was racked with guilt but...We got over that and instead we watched movies, played Phase 10, and Rock Band. We also helped big T today at work. B decided that he needed to attend school so I drove him myself. The boys LOVE it when they ditch school. They love it when we hang out and they have my undivided attention.

Good Mom/Bad Mom??? I know the answer.

Talent Show

We attended the church Talent Show on Saturday. What a fun time. Who knew that watching a bunch of crazy old people dressed up in costumes would be so funny, and to think that people PAID to get in. B and C participated in this dance number. I hope the video works. I am extremely challenged when it comes to attaching a video to the blog. It never seems to work. :(

Teaching Job

I've waited and worried all week. I was offered the Instructional Facilitator job, again...Seems that the state of WY has changed the rules for the IF qualifications. It use to state that an IF needed five years experience in the classroom or a master's degree. Now it states that the IF must have both those qualifications. Since only a hand full of teachers were qualified I was offered the job. I declined the offer on Monday. From that day forward I felt guilty that I didn't take the job, because now our school has one to many core teachers, which wouldn't be the case if I had taken the job. So I sit and wait to see what grade I teach. While I wait I'm working on my resume for Saddle Ridge.

STUPID!

I've decided that I've lost my mind and I need a time out. When we were in Wisconsin in September I got a call from DISH network. They said my account was overdue. "How could this be, it comes out automatically?'' Well sure enough, something had happened at the bank and the automatic withdraw didn't happen. Then in December the same call but from the electric company. This unfortunately, does not come out automatically, I had completely missed a payment. Again, "How can this be, I follow my budget sheet each tine I pay the bills to make sure this doesn't happen?" Well, the electric company had changed their billing cycle, I thought the payment was due on the first and it came during the 15th billing. So when the bill came I stashed it in the bill caddy thinking it was for next month. Then when they sent the reminder I didn't open it thinking it was the regular bill. DUH! Now the student loan is due. You have to go through a long "Sign In" process on line and I did that. Even paid my bill, but then I noticed that it didn't come out on the date that I chose. Humm, guess it takes awhile. Guess what? I'm behind. Should someone take away my license to be an adult? Can I be a kid again?

Apparently I need to get my act together. This is embarrassing to admit to all of you, but I figure telling all of you works sort of like a confessional, so I said ten Hail Mary's, I am forgiven, and then I get my act together from here on out. Thanks for listening.

Birthday celebration

C turned 14 last Sunday. He reeks with teenager tendancies. He is angry one minute and a total delight the next. C and I made an errands run the other day and he talked my ear off. Please don't think we talked about anything of depth or consequence but we talked just the same. What he wanted for his birthday are perfect examples of the craziness a teenager must feel. He wanted a ton of Reese's peanut butter cups, money, a collector's Harry Potter wand, and most importantly, he wanted to dye his hair blonde or green. Blonde was the natural choice for me, so off to Cost Cutters! You can see the result in the pictures below.

Now he worries that the dye will wear out or go away. He worries about his zits. The acne has taken over so badly that we've had to see the skin doctor. He complains of being tired and is sleeping more, and more. He stands about 5' 10", which is much taller than his mom, and he HATES being so tall. Silly kid, doesn't he know that being tall is good.

Sad News Continued

OK, you won't believe that I've been through another death in my life but one of my church friends, Doris, died. She was 87 years old. Yesterday I attended her funeral. I pray that I can touch lives like she did and make the impact that she did during her lifetime. I cried as the eulogized her memory and cried when they sang the songs she loved. Is there something that I'm suppose to learn from the death that keeps surrounding me? If so I hope that I'm quick to figure it out.

Lesson Learned???

Barb and I celebrated Ded's 4oth birthday last night. I drank a reasonable amount and felt that we were pretty responsible when Barb and I called our husbands for a ride home. But something must have gone wrong with me last night. Maybe it was the Margarita that I drank at Chili's after the party? Maybe it was the combination of vodka and tequila? Maybe I'm a lightweight, or maybe it is my old age? (B is the one who thought up that stupid idea) Whatever it was, I was sick, sick, sick. OMG, I haven't felt that bad in a long time. Of course the after effects lingered throughout the day as well.

Remember I am taking medication for my heart? Well, I'm beginning to think that the medication is enhancing the effects of alcohol. My body felt like it was pulsating this morning as I lay in bed and I was dizzy whenever I got out of bed. I've read the medication percautions thorougly and I've never found anything stating that there would be side effects.

What have I learned? That I can't drink more than two cocktails and I will NEVER let Barb talk me into drinking like that again. I am personally blaming Barb for all my troubles.

More sad news leads to a change

Last week the school district's psychologist died in a car crash. She was on her way to work and never made it. Apparently there were no skid marks nor signs that she took evasive action to stop crossing the median. She hit another car head on. What does this mean? Who knows, but all I know is that it bring our districts death count to something like nine. Now this death count is not always directly related to the district as far as employees but, instead they are all closely related to the district in same way or another. Two students have had a parent die, one teacher lost her dad in November and mom in December. Another teacher lost her father-in-law, and of course there was the paraprofessional who lost her husband. There are other countless deaths that I could rattle off, but the point of the story is that death has plagued our district. Does this put a damper on our district's attitude? You bet, and that includes me. It seems that we just keep reeling from tragedy and it is beginning to take its toll. So I've begun to consider other jobs, I'm not sure why, I just have an itch to go in a different direction. I feel sad, discontented, and irritated with the daily grind of teaching.


I've expressed interest in the district's Instructional Facilitator job as well as the new Tutor job that will open up next year. The Instructional Facilitator job would be a little stressful, but I don't think it will carry the same responsibilities that teaching a class does. My friend Linda says that I am a 'teacher of teachers,' so maybe that's a new direction. On the other hand, I really want the tutor job. This job will help our 6th graders transition into 7th grade. Either job might be the change I'm looking for. I also want to apply to the newest elementary school, Saddle Ridge. The school is really close by our house and I thought I'd give district #1 a try just to see what happens. We'll see.

Valentine's Day, Bras and a call from the Principal

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, so Happy V Day to you all. Big T gave me a dozen roses. I'm thrilled, because that's what I told him I wanted. I gave him several different kinds of chocolate which is what he loves and the boys have more chocolate candy too. Thanks to my hubby for listening to what I wanted.









I need a new bra. This always poses a problem. It's kind of like buying jeans, I have to try on ten pair just to see which style and size I should pick from. It doesn't matter if I tried on the same pair last time I was in the store, I need to re-try just to make sure. Bras are worse, I want them to be pretty, but not poke, pinch and have iron clad support. For years I've bought the same style and it's been OK. Now the doctor said to try to avoid the under wire bra. What?? How can I achieve the iron clad support without the wire? I am aware that the old ladies bra, Playtex 18 hour bra is what she's talking about but there is NO WAY I'm going to buy my mother's bra! So today I hang my head low and admit defeat; I'm the owner of my mother's bra. It's amazing how the same bra has not changed that much since I was hanging up my mom's on the line. BUT, you would not believe the support. Holy moly, this is amazing, why did I wait so long for the amazing support and comfort. My back is not hurting and there doesn't seem to have strap marks on my shoulders. I've got these huge boobs and they are stickin' out saying, "Look at us!" Big T says I could poke someones eye out.



Big T called me on Thursday to let me know the principal from the Jr. High had called him. This made my heart skip a beat. I know that C is a good kid but you NEVER know what a kid will do when he's around friends at school. Anyway, the principal was calling to let us know that we were doing a great job as parents. Last week when the substitute, in English class, was having a terrible time with the class, C has made the RIGHT choice and was a good example to others in his class. Sniff, Sniff. That's my boy! Let's hope that all the calls from the principal are like this one. The school gave him a certificate, a free movie rental and a coupon for a free meal at Culver's. Pretty cool huh?



The picture of the little girl is of me when I was about four years old. My sister-in-law found this picture of me behind a childhood picture of my little brother. She was putting his picture in a new frame and found mine. I love this picture because my grandfather, the photographer, took this picture of me having a little tea party.

Teacher Advancement Program (TAP)

I've received merit pay at school for two years. (Merit pay is the big buzz word from our new President) I receive this pay based on three different categories, first is my teaching performance, in which I'm evaluated three times a year. Two of these evaluations are announced, and one is not so that they can see an honest picture of my teaching techniques. Second the district bases my merit pay on how well my students perform on the PAWS test, and thirdly how our school improves as a whole. This last week our school district dumped the entire program. TAP is nationally recognized program and is also the program that the state of WY education department wanted to look at adopting for districts across the state. That means that we would have been the district of "example." The biggest reason they canned the program is because they do not want to pay out the bonuses anymore, and the community felt that early release on Wednesday's was a waste of time for the kids.

Wednesday afternoons was the time that teachers met in their professional clusters, where we learned new strategies, and practiced them in our classrooms. When students were released from school the district provided, for FREE, structured activities or students were bussed home. That means our district bussed the students three different times throughout the day. Doesn't that cost money??

• There will always be the debate whether teachers should get merit pay or not. Many believe that it's the teachers job to begin with, so why get paid more for a job that is already expected. Or the other side of the issue is that teachers will work harder for more pay. Our education system is FILLED with ineffective teachers so why not entice or motivate those slackers.
• There will be another program to replace the TAP system, but it will not involve merit bonuses. (side note: the TAP program was designed by the Milliken(sp) Foundation, which is not part of any school system or the Education Department. They are a business. They also provide monies to doctors who advance medical science or outstanding medical professionals)
• The school board also proposed this week a 4 1/2 day school week. This means that students will be released at 1:00 on Friday. So...parents don't want their students out early on Wednesday's but they do on Friday's???

Should I be mad?

Ole' Mr. W

So Big T turned 47 last week. He would have been fine with having another birthday if his lovely children wouldn't have reminded him about how OLD he was getting. "What's the matter Dad, can't you hear? Are you moving slow because you are getting so old?'' So you can only guess that my upcoming birthday is a great opportunity for the children to make fun of me. They are counting down the days until I turn 40. Anyone need three smart*^* boys, ages 16, 13, and 10???

Snow Day and Dead Fish

So today was a snow day for school district #2. YEAH! Trouble with that is that is was very apparent by 9:00 am that the sun was making a come back and there would really be no need for a snow day. Great, now we have to make it up later in the year. UGH! Oh well, guess who had off today too?? Big T! So you can just imagine what kind of great day we had. Wink, Wink. Along with that, there was a game of cribbage, reading, coffee drinking and watching "The Haunting," on TV. Could life get any better?

Little T has been working on his science fair experiment, which involves goldfish and the change in their pigment. Long story short, the fish are dead so we are having anchovies on our pizza tonight.

Normal, and a new relationship

Tonight I found myself wondering if my family had finally found "normal." After a supper of home make pizza, and once the kitchen was clean my family all separated throughout the house finding their own solitude and happiness. Big T has been studying for his contractor's license so he is sprawled out on our king sized bed learning the technical mumbo jumbo of being a contractor. B loves the flight simulator game he got for Christmas, so he is flying from San Francisco to Dallas. Little T is feverishly reading a book to it's end so that he can meet his reading goal in school, and C is free drawing while listening to his ipod. My house was quiet, and no one was demanding anything from anyone. Is this what normal families do? I guess it doesn't matter, whatever this is, I'm happy just to soak it all in.

With everyone doing their own thing I was freed up to spend time with my treadmill. I've renewed my relationship with the treadmill and found that we really are more compatible than I had originally thought. In the past, my treadmill and I could only hang out in the office, with me facing the wall as I walked/jogged. Even though I listened to my ipod or tried to read, I would focus in on the time or distance that I had gone, therefore never really accomplishing a good solid work out. Fifteen minutes can sure drag on and on.

I don't want to say that I've set a New Year's Resolution to loose weight, but instead I've set a goal to look good for my 40th birthday and to improve my health. That gives me a good 9 months to work toward this goal. So I decided that watching tv during my workout would take my mind off the time/distance problem and get me more focused on my body and pushing myself when need be. Guess what? It worked! Big T and I moved the treadmill to the basement and I've having fun ever since. Yep, I said fun. I have never enjoyed the treadmill but times are changing.

I'll keep you posted as I go.

Rock Band

Rock band came to our house very soon after we played it at our friends house. Remember I said it was addictiting? So much so that when I returned to school yesterday I told the students that during the break I became the lead singer in a rock band called, "Eccentric Soul." It's true, except the part where I'm still in my living room, and my children are the band and it's only a game played on Wii. Now you know what I'm doing at night instead of grading papers and cooking supper.

Too Bad

The day has come...We had to return to school. Drag! Heavy sigh! All of us suffered from what we call Sunday Syndrome. This is where the family starts to get cranky, and fussy about everything that is going on around them. The subconsious thoughts of returning to work/school are working hard against time so we find ourselves wanting to slow down the clock and begin to think that maybe we are becoming sick. "Yes, my throat is scratchy. Yes, my head aches, or maybe I even feel like throwing up." If only Christmas break hadn't been so good? Maybe then we would be more willing to head back to school.

On a sadder note, yesterday I recieved a call that a co-workers husband had passed away that morning. Maria's husband had suffered a stroke during the break and never recovered. This bit of news has caused me to be extremely sad and thankful all at the same time. Big T and I had been fighting for over a week and had come to the place where we slept in seperate beds for the night. (I know, we shouldn't, but we were pretty sick of each other) The next morning, after I recieved the call I quickly made up with my husband and then he and I had a L O N G talk. How sad to loose your husband so early in life. I think that he was only 47 or 48 and left behind three children as well as Maria, his wife. This family has not been well off and now I worry that they will be financially ruined because of the death.

It was then that I began to be extremely thankful for my husband and his 20 years in the USAF, as well as for my job, my degree and for health. If anything should happen to T then we are well covered as far as life insurance is involved, I will continue to recieve his retirement pay and our health insurance is still covered. How lucky am I???

Please pray for Maria and her three children, then will need our love and support.

Something New, Something Old

I experienced something new the other day that I hadn't felt since childhood. Boredom! Yep, I felt restless and irritated that I had nothing that I wanted to do, or needed to do. I didn't have that monkey on my back telling me to, "Pay the bills, grade papers, clean the bathroom, check email, etc." I didn't even have the desire to read a book, watch a movie, or take a nap. Why? I had already done all of those things. Activities that I always long to get to, but never do until the crummy work is finished. Normally in a situation like this, people probably have a hobby that they would like to work on. But, through the last five years of full time teaching and getting my masters, I've abandoned all thought or hope of a hobby. It sounds super domestic (and a little dorky), but I would really like to get into quilting. But I've never really started this hobby, so to get started, it would involve buying all the supplies that are necessary to start. Do I REALLY want to buy all that equipment when chances are slim that I will ever return to this weird thing called boredom? I saw a book at Michael's yesterday called, "Teach Yourself how to Quilt." This is perfect, I can read this book and get started, but the darn thing was $20. Ouch, can't I take up a hobby that doesn't cost money? I suppose that would be maybe walking on my treadmill or around the block, but let's not get crazy! So this means that I've seen plenty of movies, read plenty of books, and been napping a little too much.
Here's my movies in review:
Valkryie-*****
Bedtime Stories-**
The Day the Earth Stood Still-**
Four Christmases-*
Benjamin Button-****

I also read The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. I would recommend this book, and I'm looking forward to seeing the movie. Sad and depressing subject matter, but I loved it and found another book called, Milkweed, which takes place during the WWII also.

To avoid the crazy thought of exercise, I re-decorated the bathroom. Yep, for $60 I changed the shower curtain, put down new rugs and put up coordinating towels. Surprise, new bathroom. I also re-arranged some curtains that I had laying around the house to change the look in the front room. (I saw that at Vickie's house, thanks Vickie)

Something Old? We spent New Year's Eve with the same friends we have been celebrating with for ten years. Ten years???? Yep, we've been ringing in the new year the same way for years. I like that idea. We know what we like, we know how we like to celebrate and we loved hanging out together. In fact, we played Rock Band for several hours. By the way, Rock Bank is a VERY addicting game that my boys are wanting to run out and buy today. (I may charge the darn thing today without even asking Todd) Anyway, we had so much fun.

To top off the New Year the wind began to blow. (Previous posts will tell you that I've become discontented with the stupid wind.) I can't sleep with the hurricane force winds trying to rip my house off the foundation, so big T and I drug the guest room mattress down to the basement in hopes that we can escape the wind. Didn't work, we could still hear the wind anyway.

The next day I cooked up some amazing food the kids and Todd. They were thrilled with the leftover wienies from the previous day and the pizza rolls too. Oh, more naps and the Twilight Zone marathon was just perfect for our family. C started a paint by number and Ty and Todd started putting together a model car. B had to work at McDonald's. He had to laugh when a lady came through the drive thru at 2:30 pm and wanted to order off the breakfast menu. Hum? Happy New Year.